What Esther Perel still teaches us about distance
Desire needs a gap to cross. A short essay on why autonomy and closeness are not opposites, and what couples in year twelve can borrow from couples in year two.
Read the essay →Desire is a conversation, not a performance.
An independent reading room for essays on intimacy, attachment, long-term partnership and the psychology of desire — written slowly, cited carefully, and free of hot takes.
The boring science of good sex lives
Sleep, kindness, and unloaded dishwashers predict satisfaction better than novelty. A look at what longitudinal couples research actually measures — and what it keeps getting wrong.
Read the essay →Talking about want, without a script
Practical notes from couples therapists on naming desire out loud: starting small, timing it badly on purpose, and why "nothing" is an answer worth exploring.
Read the essay →